My proposal to Ms. Donna Millard is actually a rather long story, but I will summarize by dividing it into three parts: (1) a theology of diamond rings, (2) a change of plans, and (3) a stroll on the beach.
(1) We begin our journey with an investigation into the morality of jewelry in God's kingdom. Jesus called his disciples to leave their lives of comfort and walk in the way of the cross. The early church shared all their possessions, giving generously to those in greatest need. The apostles warned against the wearing of costly jewels (1 Tim 2:9; 1 Pet 3:3-4). So why do Christian women parade around with diamond rings and never seem to give a second thought? Are there no longer any needy people who desperately hunger for those resources? Well, these questions are doubly nagging when one feels the pressure to fit in with the culture. But, I believe that God's word answers this dilemma in a way that is not merely self-justifying. In short, while a woman's inner beauty is far more valuable than her appearance, outer beauty is not to be shunned or condemned (just read the Song of Songs!). Outer beauty may be "vain" (Prov. 31), but this means it only has temporal value, not zero value. In fact, the extravagent adornment of a bride points directly to the love which Christ has for His people. Jewelry is a symbol of His salvation - how those who believe in Christ are made right before a holy God (Isa. 61:10-11; Ezek. 16; Eph. 5:22-33). In light of these truths, and because love is never rude or self-seeking (1 Cor. 13), I purchased a reasonably priced new ring to adorn my beautiful bride to be.
(2) The change in plans came when I began to pack for our trip to Florida and had an unpleasant surprise. Just a few hours before I was to pick up Donna and start our long long drive, I discovered that her ring had been stolen, right out of its hiding place in my room. You can imagine my dismay. How could this happen? Well, here's a hint: my roommates and I have been extending Christ's love to some homeless men by housing them in our place until they could get on their feet. I'll forego some of the details, but my plan for asking Donna to marry was in need of re-formulation.
(3) On December 23, after a few days of rest and fellowship with my parents in Orlando, Donna and I drove to Cocoa Beach for a look at the ocean. Little did she know, I was about to give her my life. A few miles from the pier we found a secluded spot where the brisk wind had driven away most of the tourists. We walked the shore and took in the sounds of crashing waves, considering the endless horizon and the brevity of our lives. Sitting on a sandy towel, holding each other for warmth, I took out my Bible and began to read - "It is not good for the man to be alone...and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen. 2:21-24). After reading a couple dozen passages along the same theme, I shared some of my own words which I had prepared - lists of my possessions, my accomplishments, my failures, my dreams - my life. And I gave my life to her, so to speak. And so, I asked her for hers. That we might belong to one another, like Adam said. That she would be mine and I would be hers (Song 6:3). And then, I gave her a little red box, which, even through the tears, felt surprisingly light. So, as we both looked down inside this empty little box, I told her what happened.
It may seem strange to some, but God wrote this story, and the beauty of it surpasses human wisdom. What amounts to true joy in God's kingdom is to treasure the all-surpassing greatness of knowing Christ more than the fading value of earthly things (Phil 3:10). Allow me to conclude with this passage from Hebrews 10:34 - "for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven." Missionary and martyr Jim Elliot said it like this - "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose."
posted by Jason Shaw @ 10:21 PM
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